Having the Right Effect on Other People
Susan Dunn, MA, Life and EQ Coach"People with small minds talk about other people. People withaverage minds talk about events. People with great minds talkabout ideas" (Anonymous) And people with great hearts talk aboutfeelings.
Dr. Phil has done it again -- come up with just the rightdescriptive phrase. On his show the other day, he confronted ayoung man saying: "Are you just an arrogant jerk who likes toget in someone else’s face and bark?" I was in need of thisdescriptive phrase because I was in an office the other daywhere one of the principals did just that -- he would get insomeone else's face and bark. Every time. All day long. That washis only modus operandi.

Body Language – It’s What You Don’t Say
Author: Bill Willard
Article:You’ll be judged from the moment you walk into a room; the wayyou stand, sit, and use your hands can send messages—intended orotherwise. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good—and sometimescontradicting your intended meaning.

The following communication rules can improve problem solving:
State your problem and interests. Speak with “I” statements. Acknowledge the other’s problem and interests. Avoid name calling and answering a complaint with another complaint.
Listen to the other parties and know their interests. Ask “why,” “why not” and “what if” questions to better understand. Use silence to demonstrate you are willing to listen or to help move the other side into a position to listen more effectively to you.
Offer an apology when appropriate.
Stay in the present and the future. The past has already been lived.
Stick to the present topic.
Look for areas of agreement.
Set the time for the next discussion and take a time out if the discussion deteriorates.
Use mutual restating until a party who continues to feel misunderstood feels understood appropriately.
State requests for change in behavioral terms. Don’t ask for changes in attitude or feeling just to be different.
Consistently express verbal and body messages. If negative feelings must be expressed, only use words. Show confidence in the process, relax, use good eye contact and show interest.